"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
