whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
