i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
