when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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