Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize