im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She announced her abortion via fbk
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
