Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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