The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize