I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
