come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
