do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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