Don't you send me to vm
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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