are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
