tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Even my vagina gasped.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
