So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
