i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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