I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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