Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
