five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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