I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Oh god it's open bar.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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