well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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