Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
