Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
and she was petting her beer can
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Rumble strips road head = magical
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
