I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
