who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize