So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize