is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
