does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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