Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize