if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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