he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I fill condoms, not promises.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
