...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
