3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
