the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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