ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it was like his penis was on wheels.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
