I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
