Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
