Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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