I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
