her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
