It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
