I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Who died my cat blue again?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
