Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
