i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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