Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
