What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
