no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
