Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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