umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
