I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
