While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
