i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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