Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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