those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
