Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
