I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't deserve a penis
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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