Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
