Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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